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D Day
I go for the results from Xanders testing with the neuropsychologist today, in just a little bit. I'm nervous... because I want answers. But  I don't. I want my child to be "normal," but if they say he is and that I'm wrong in thinking something is going on... I'm not sure I'm going to be happy with that. I feel in my gut there is something there. Moms intuition.

I wanted to copy down the notes I jotted down for the dr a while back, so if for whatever reason I lose this list, I have it backed up somewhere. These are some of the reasons why I think Xander may either be autistic, or have something else going on that I'm not familiar with.

He has no fear. Take swimming for instance, he'll run right into a lake, jump off a dock... unaware of how deep it is, and can't swim well enough to not drown. Does he care? No... cause you'd save him, and he'd just turn right around and do it again.
He has a VERY high tolerance for pain with the big things, like knocking his tooth out of his mouth at age 2. He was MAD, not hurt. And then he was back playing before it was done bleeding. My husband made the comment that if that had been HIM, he'd be a baby on the couch for a few days. (LOL)
But then with the small things, like his sister twirling in circles and hitting him by accident, he overreacts... acts like you would expect for the bigger accidents.
Uneven gross/fine motor skills
Non-responsive to verbal cues... I don't know if this is selective hearing, or if he's so zoned in on something he doesn't hear us. He's had hearing tests and his hearing is fine.
Sensory... he doesn't like his teeth brushed, his hair brushed, he acts like I'm killing him when I shave his head (I don't do this anymore, we've decided to let it grow so it wouldn't be an issue)
He started sucking his fingers around the age of 1. If he is not allowed to suck his finger (like in school) he will chew on his shirt. He's ruined MANY shirts in one day from chewing/sucking on them.
I'm not sure if he had his vaccines at that time... don't remember how close to his bday/1 yr check up. I do believe he had mono, and have thought all along that he started sucking his finger because he was so sick.
He is always putting stuff in his mouth, no matter how nasty or bad for him.
Lack of or delay in spoken language. He's had speech therapy since he was 3 and we still find it hard to understand him a lot of the time.
repetitive use of language and/or motor manerisms
he repeats himself a lot, barely takes a breath before starting a sentance or whatever over. He sometimes rocks, will do hand flapping every so often.
Stiffens up his arms and hands when he gets nervous, like going down steep stairs with a lot of people around him.
Little or no eye contact
This is part of why I brought him in for ADHD testing, even holding my hands around his face to try to keep his attention on me, he still tries to look away.
Lack of interest in peer relationships
Preference to being alone
Difficulty in mixing with others
he wants friends over to play, or to go to their house, but then when the friend is around, he doesn't actually play with them. He just needs to know they are there.
lack of spontaneous or make believe play
obsessive attachment to objects
he's never played like a normal kid. Example, he's got tons of train sets, tr acks, trains,etc. He will pick one piece up, and play with that and ONLY that for sometimes weeks at a time. He gets fixated on one toy or object and obsesses over it. Be it a train, a train track, a car, a ruler. He eats, sleeps, watches tv, goes away with it, everything. He can't do anything without that toy or object, it's a fight to keep it at home for school days.
Persistant fixation on part of objects
Insistence on sameness, resistance to change
Difficulty in expressing needs
I've always thoughth e was a cranky baby, from the beginning. When he gets mad about something, he gets VERY mad, and there is no consoling him. he gets happy again on his own time. He sometimes hits, but he doesn't self injure or anything. He does throw toys and try to break them.
Not wanting to cuddle or be cuddles
This, he's either one extreme or another. He'll fight you and get mad at you for trying to cuddle him, or he'll want to cuddle but not understand that his headbutting you and pushing you is hurrting or aggravating.

It's a messy list, but I don't have time to clean it up. It's time to leave for his diagnosis. Will add more later when I find out what the dr says.

First Day of School
So today was the first day of school. I got Makenzie up at 6:30 and by 7 she was "can we go yet?" No baby... school doesn't start til 7:55, we aren't getting there THAT early. Your teacher probably isn't even there yet! She was very excited to get back, yet once we did get there, she actually got nervous! She tried to make me stay with her. LOL I couldn't though, I had Xander waiting at home.
Xander and I are starting our homeschool trip together in an hour. I have to figure out what I'm going to start with, think I'll sorta review what I know he learned last year, and what he should know. And go from there.

If any homeschoolers out there have good tips for a momma just starting, I'd love to hear them! He's sorta in between kindergarten and 1st grade... he was going to repeat if I sent him back to the public school. But he's emotionally young... not educationally behind.

So I started this thing, then went MIA for a while. Life happened. We got even more broke... still struggling with that. But somehow surviving. My grandma got real sick, and we almost lost her. So for the past two weeks I've been at the hospital more than anything else.
She went in for side pains... ended up having emergency surgery for an obstructed bowel. Part of her intestine was rotting because stuff couldn't pass, and some of it just wasn't where it was supposed to be. And apparently, her body wasn't up for the surgery. She was in the ICU for a week, barely hanging on. We had family from all over coming up to say goodbye, we really thought we had lost her. :(
The day we all went up to have the family meeting with the dr, we were ready to tell him to take her off everything, and if her body held on, then it wasn't her time. But if she couldn't live without those machines, then we needed to let God take her. Before that meeting even happened... she woke up. She was responding, lucid, answering questions. She could only nod, because she still had the breathing tube down her throat. But she was awake! Something we were at the point of thinking wasn't ever going to happen again!
She is now out of the ICU, and doing great. She isn't fully out of the woods yet... but she doesn't need intensive care anymore. She survived! I'm really proud of my kids... they are 6 and 8 years old, and they were at the hospital with us every day, sometimes all day. And they never once misbehaved. Now I knew I had good kids, don't get me wrong. But even that had to be a big job for them. (Lord knows they're making up for it now... by the end of the day I am searching for the duct tape!!)

Fast forward to this weekend, and I was at the hospital again. Only this time with Xander. He was staying with my mom, and told her that it feels like a volcano erupting when he pees. (LOL Yes, very descriptive... he's good at that) So I called the phone nurse, assuming it was a UTI or something. The dr's office was closed for the day, so she had me take him to the ER. I almost didn't though, because hubby thought it was probably just a yeast infection... and boys/men don't always need medicine for that like girls do. We just needed to clean it and all that joyful stuff.  But we did go in after all... the nurse was expecting us. And I'm glad he did.  Xander has what's called balanoposthitis.
We didn't have him circumcised when he was born... we'd chosen to leave him the way he was made. The research I did back then said that there was no extra special care needed for an uncut penis. So we never did anything special when it came to cleaning. Turns out, that was wrong. After a certain age, he needed to be taught to pull the skin back like once a week, and clean it. And now, because we haven't been doing that, it's infected, it's swollen. And the skin is very tight.. and almost got stuck at the hospital. And that night when we tried to put medicine on it. Which would have led to an emergency circumcision.   So we are now looking into having him circumcised after all. I'm not happy with it... but this could just be the beginning of problems down the road. And if it's what is best for Xander, then it's what will be done.

I'm sure it makes certain family members oh so happy to know he'll have a "normal" penis. *rolls eyes*  I didn't plan to modify my childs body so he could fit in with the other kids. And honestly, more and more people AREN'T circumcising nowadays... that I believe he woulda "fit in" either way.  I'm only doing it because it's what is medically necessary.

Writer's Block: Under Protest
Yes I have. I've boycotted Walmart because of a fight between my husbands work and them.

They use carbon monoxide and other things to package their meat. Which HIDES when the meat is going bad. How many people buy a large package of meat, break it up into smaller freezer bags, and actually remember to put an expiration date on it? If you don't... and you buy that meat, you chance getting sick off meat you THINK will be ok. Because it looks and smells ok because of what has been injected into it. Walmart pushed those meat companies into doing it.

Research Kalsec and Walmart if you wanna know more.

Growing Pains?
I don't recall growing pains ever causing me to instantly stop what I was doing, grabbing the spot that hurts, and crying like I was dying. Do you?

Maybe I just didn't have them that bad.... or whatever. My 8 year old has been having these side pains for about a month now, and while she doesn't have a great tolerance for pain, she's not a huge wuss either. It doesn't last long, and she's fine before and after it... but when it hits her, it hits hard and outta nowhere.

I've talked to the phone nurse... and the first one was all "well if there is no symptoms like vomiting, diarrhea
or fever... then I'd just keep track of how often it is happening... etc. The second one I talked to, because I just wasn't comfortable with that... made an appointment for Makenzie on Monday.

If it's growing pains... fine. But I want it looked at. Ya know? Cause if it's (GOD FORBID) something else... I would want to know so we could get it taken care of so my baby wasn't in pain anymore.

What do you think? (If there's anyone out there reading this lol)

I love my son... but his persistance on getting a response from me, even when I shouldn't have to... is going to drive me insane!  Sometimes he doesn't even give me a chance to respond... and he's repeating himself like that... which I TRY really hard to not get short fused at him... but OMG sometimes I can't help it.

     A little background. Xander is ADHD, has been diagnosed since January 09. Since that evaluation and diagnosis, I've been doing a lot of research, and finding that a lot of his little quirks, add up to him possibly having Autism. So... I requested to have him tested. I'd rather get him tested, find out he's not... then not test and him continue to struggle through school and life because we don't know how to properly respond to his needs.
     He had his first appointment with a neuropsychologist on July 8th. This evaluation they asked about my pregnancy, his milestones, how he's been growing up, what quirks I question, etc. She also had him put together puzzles and these storyline cards, noticed a slight tremor in his hand.. which she didn't say anything more than it might be what's causing his fine motor skills to be behind.  At the end, she said that she's really not sure... she's on the fence. That if he does have autism, it's mild. Which... I didn't expect anything more than that. I know he doesn't fit the mold for what society thinks of when they think Autism. He does talk, although he has had to be  in speech therapy for the past 3 years, and isn't done with it yet. He rocks, sometimes. But not all that often. I have caught him flapping his hands when he's upset or excited... but that's also a rare thing. He doesn't go into fits of rage where he's trying to hit things or people, throw things, throw himself, etc. But when he's mad... there's no talking to him. He curls up in his little ball and ignores you until he's ready to be happy again.
     And like I said in the beginning, when he's telling you something.. he repeats over and over and over again. Sometimes you have to be like "OK Xander... I heard that part, now move on," because he'll repeat the same sentance 10 times before moving on to the rest of the story.  There's more too, but I got my grandma chewing ice in my ear, and the kids constantly interrupting my train of thought. *sighs* I'll add more later. LOL

Trains and more
We went into town today to watch an old steamer roll through. This train only comes out for train shows... and is over 60 years old. Was very cool to see! I'll have pictures to share soon, when I get home on my own computer and can upload them.
Xander told me afterwards that the train was "off the hizzle".  LOL He watches way too much tv, we gotta put a stop to that!  UP until then though, he was ready to go home, tired of waiting... it was hot.... can we go yet? LOL
My poor car went off road today to see this train. LOL We found a trail to take us down to the tracks.. and it looked safe... but then I bottomed out. Ughhhhh let's hope I didn't injure poor Herbie. I haven't seen any leaking oil or anything, so hopefully that's a good sign.

Now I'm sitting at my moms helping my grandma with her very dead yard sale. Getting a feel for a macbook... kinda like it... but would be afraid to have my own because if something goes wrong with it, I wouldn't know the first thing about fixing it. LOL


My first post... first time here, I feel all lost and stuff. But.. Hope made me do it! So I'm here... and I'll figure this thing out. 

Sooner or later. *giggles*